The Menu’s Evils

Image credit: @bonjoursimonleclerc on instagram. A gouache sketch of a warmly lit bar. In the foreground, people are chatting and gesturing with drinks on their tables. In the background but the focus of the drawing, a dark-haired woman sits reading a book. The book is placed on a polished wooden table and the chairs around her are empty. She sports a green and black striped turtle neck and her right arm is propped up on the table, hand folded on her cheek to support her head as she reads.

You never really know what you’ll find on a blind date. A stunning partner who’ll breathe life into the dreams of your heart, an absolute lunatic with whom you will sever ties or a benign personality whose innate charm will gently pull you into a commitment. Whichever the case, in an act of faith, you dress up and show up, hoping for the best.

And so as I watched Meryl read a thick book that laid heavy on the table with the authority of a Bible, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. Her looks were appealing to the eyes and she had dark, soft features. But the way she shut out the world was eerie. Unperturbed by the loud music blaring overhead, uninterested in the chatter from the table next to her, seemingly unaware that she should, as courtesy demands, be looking out for her blind date.

I walk up to the table and say “Meryl?” before I cast a glance down at what was indeed a Bible. She glanced up at me, beautiful.

“Hello Mason!” she chimed through a bright smile. I am delightfully satisfied with her face, but in dire need to settle my curiosity around her reading.

“Why are you reading a Bible here?” I ask.

She smiles and smoothes out the page on which The Lord’s Prayer is written. “I recently read a book where Nigel Slater said ‘a menu is a collection of temptations’,” she says looking down. “I’m on a diet, you see, so I brought my Bible to read the Lord’s Prayer over the temptations I would face in this restaurant.”

A maddening intrigue ravages me as I stare at her. I lower myself into the chair in front of her and extend a hand in respect and interest.

“It is a wonderful pleasure to meet you, Meryl.”